The waiting begins....

I had lots of unusual uterine cramping this morning but kept using my new mantra, which is "it's only the progesterone."

But then I convinced myself that I ruined any chance of implantation because I ran for the bus this morning.

Ok, maybe jogging was more like it. For 3 minutes tops. At 6:20am when I left this morning, Boston was facing blizzard-like conditions.

And I *had* to get to work for an early meeting.

And I was walking in the snow when the bus came along and nearly passed me because I wasn't at a bus stop.

I almost panicked on the bus but reminded myself that 3 minutes of jogging does not equal strenuous activity, which I was instructed to avoid for three days.

The cramps came and went after that for a few hours, gradually decreasing in frequency. There was a heaviness in my uterus, too, that I experienced. But now they are both gone except for intermittent very mild cramps.

It was only the progesterone anyway, right?????

Every time I let myself think that this cycle might turn us into parents, I quickly plan for what I will do if it fails.

I tell myself that it would be no big deal to have to repeat the process. That maybe a frozen cycle will work. That ivf will work for us eventually.

In your opinion, are these mental tricks I am playing adequate coping mechanisms to prepare me for a failed cycle?

The problem is that, every time I tell myself that another cycle would not be a big deal, I think "but this might work."

These are the reasons I am hopeful:

*the entire cycle went incredibly well;
*my eggs were assessed as "top quality";
*Fira and Thira were enthusiastically rated as "beautiful;"
*The RE doing the procedure was incredibly optimistic that Fira and Thira would implant;
*Dr. Gentle is confident that this cycle will work, both because of the quality of Fira and Thira and because, in his words, "I am still young" so our chances of implantation are excellent;
*and, generally, my Re is confident that, because ICSI solved Mr. LIW's issue and the fertility meds solve mine, ivf will work for us.

These are the reasons I am doubtful:

*ivf is not an exact science;
*beautiful embryos do not necessarily develop into healthy babies;
*I know of other so-called perfect cycles that resulted in BFNs;
*IF has convinced me that having a baby is impossible;
*and, generally, I tend to expect the worst for myself.

I am actively soliciting your assvice here. Would you be hopeful if you were in my situation? Why or why not? And, if you would be, how would you manage it?

I guess what I am trying to get at is that I want to know if it is safe to hope....