I am nearly certain that this cycle was a bust.
As for *my* bust, my nipples no longer feel like they have been punched. They remain tender but not as sore. I have experienced some strange aching feelings in my breasts but nothing that makes me too optimistic.
And I have NO other symptoms that would suggest pregnancy, except for fatigue. But that is most likely a side effect of nights full of nightmares and restlessness.
I had typical AF cramps yesterday and spotted really really lightly today, on CD26.
I am really sad.
It doesn't help that I am struggling to keep my spirits up in light of my job situation.
What I can't fathom is how Clo.mid may have failed to prolong my cycle. If I ovulated on CD16, I shouldn't be spotting already. As my RE and I have discussed multiple times, a luteal phase less than 12-14 days is not a good sign. Nearly all of my natural cycles since I went off the pill in Feb 06 fail to meet this standard.
Dr. Gentle believed that Clo.mid would rectify that problem. Or, at least I believe that is what he told me.
Spotting today is not a good sign. It was incredibly light but it was noticeable. It was a detectable level only us IFers would notice, given our expert T.P. examination skills, but still.
So, what the FUCK? I have had one blood test to check my post-ovulation progesterone level and was told that it was normal.
But maybe that month was a fluke. Maybe my progesterone levels are not high enough, which is compounding my ovulatory problems.
Maybe I have a major problem that is yet undiagnosed. One more cycle of Clo.mid and we are on to an HSG. So, maybe there is a tubal blockage....
(I trust that all of you understand this obsessive line of thinking....)
Anyway, I want to apologize for being a shitty blogger friend these days. I haven't been able to deal emotionally with anyone else's emotional stuff recently because I am so overwhelmed by my own. But I hope to catch up in the next couple of days because you mean the world to me and I want to be there for you, no matter what you are going through.
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http://maryellenandsteve.wordpress.com/
The trials, tribulations, and endless frustrations of a lady in waiting... Join me on my quests to learn how to be a great mother to Baby C, who was conceived via ivf, and to obtain my dream job in order to get the hell out of here!
Grieving Together...
http://maryellenandsteve.wordpress.com/
About Me
- LIW (Lady In Waiting)
- Boston
- Looking back on 36 years, I believe that my life has consisted of various stops and starts interrupted by endless periods of waiting (well, at least they have felt endless.) The last two years have involved trying to get pregnant despite infertility and attempting to transition into my dream job(a federal position for which my name was submitted fell through so I am reassessing my career goals.) Both Mr. LIW are fertility-challenged but the universe granted us a reprieve and allowed ivf #1 to work. Little Life/Baby C entered the world on October 12, 2008. As I endeavor to overcome the challenge called new motherhood (and continue to be astounded by how much I am able to love my son), I also am job-searching. I learned shortly after giving birth that I was getting laid off from my great PR job due to the disaster on Wall Street. Please join me as I (once again!) deal with career angst and try to figure out how to be the best possible mother. Email me at Lifeinpurgatory@hotmail.com
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2007
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July
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- So, I am experiencing lots of cramps..... *UPDATE*...
- Fate is on our side, finally
- Surprise, Surprise (or, IF in a nutshell)
- The puzzle pieces are in place and the acne is sta...
- Clo.mid + LIW's Ovaries = BFF *UPDATED*
- Anyone Want to Join My Angry Club?
- You Gotta Love Irony
- It's a bust, I just know it.....
- But did it make your hair greasy?
- Is that a clamp on my nipples?
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July
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Earned a "Get out of Purgatory" card through pregnancy or adoption
- A Few Pricks....or Life is a Bed of Roses
- A Little Sweetness
- A Sibling for Celia
- Apronstrings
- Baby in the Belly
- Big P and Me
- Crazy Enough to Try
- Drama to be Mama
- Exile in Kidville
- Fertilize Me
- Infertile Fantasies
- It Will Happen
- Keeping the Faith
- Kir's Corner
- Living With the Cards I Was Dealt
- Me the Bumblebee
- My Dear Watson
- Serenity Now!
- Third Time Lucky
- Vicious Cycle of Cycles
- Waiting for...?
11 comments:
ACK....Woman's intuition, hang in there. Could it be implantation spotting?
I'm surprised your doc didn't want to do an HSG before the Clomid. My doc told me he wouldn't do anything until I had an HSG done, because he doesn't see the sense in making me ovulate if the egg can't go anywhere!
I'm sorry you're spotting - I hope it's not AF coming early (or at all!).
Hang in there and just take care of yourself. Its hard to say what is going on yet.
Thinking of ya.
This is all so frustrating. I am sorry.
Okay had to comment... Take this as assvice if you'd like. First - a luteal phase defect does sound like something you have. Now getting a diagnosis and actually have them treat the defect well that's always fun. NOT. An endometrial biopsy is considered the "gold standard" for diagnosing this. So a blood test doesn't do the trick. Or your doctor can treat you as if you have a defect. Clomid is great to a certain extent, but if the problem isn't with the egg but with the corpus luteum well then it doesn't fix the problem. For me clomid alone wouldn't have done the trick - treat both before and after - progesterone supplements after ovulation. Yeah it's a pain who loves prometrium or progesterone in oil, but you know what... that's the 1 thing that actually worked for me. Just a thought. I'd probably do the HSG as well, but that's just me I'm a bit paranoid.
Ultimately hang in there and sorry to hijack the comments. email me if you have any questions...
Don't you go apologizing missy. I know you are doing your best.
But you know, advocate for yourself, if you want a test done, ask for it. Frankly, I'm pissed to have wasted 6 months on clomid unmonitored (before I saw an RE, so it was a bit unavoidable). So, go with your gut, you know it is a good one.
I'm sorry that it doesn't look more promising for this cycle.
And while I know absolutely nothing about IF diagnoses, I know that many of your readers (like Sami) do and are likely to have very useful things to say.
Hang in there. I know waiting is torture. It's impossible to know what is going on. The same exact symptom could be a sign that it worked or didn't work. CD 10 could be implantation bleeding. Or, it could be AF coming. Cramps could be AF or it could be implantation cramping. I know the waiting sucks. Hang in there!
Technically it could be implantation spotting and pg cramping (I was sure I was about to have AF because of cramps when I was pg)... but I know when I know it is a bust... it is a bust.
So sorry.
you? a shitty blogger? are you crazy?
i'm sorry you don't have a good feeling about this cycle and that you're going through this in the first place.
like chili, i'm surprised that you haven't had an HSG yet. my RE requested one before i even met her... not saying that's the best way, just the way it was for me...
thinking of you!
Sami is right. Ditto ditto ditto. Clomid can help, but many women still need progesterone suppositories, and/or prometrium.
Just ask your doc for some. Correction - Demand it. And do the HSG right away. Not need to waste another month, if you need something else.
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