Ok, so I told a little white lie...

to myself. I have told myself repeatedly over the last two weeks that AF would be easy to handle this month. That I might actually be grateful that I am not pregnant given the impending trip. Who wants to experience morning sickness while exploring Mayan ruins or snorkeling in the clear blue ocean?

As it turns out, I do.

There's a great chance that I will still be nice and queasy from those damn antibiotics. If I am lucky, I might be able to carry this intense headache (from the antibiotics? hormones?) with me as well. As for morning sickness - it won't be a part of my experience.

I am angrier than I want to be and am struggling to comfort myself with the knowledge that Mr. LIW and I will see an RE soon after our return (on April 28th). At that meeting we will get some answers and develop a plan so that progress can be made. It's not exactly working too well on my headspace today.

My sister and her family STILL do not have their passports (yes, we leave THIS Sunday) even though they applied in mid-January. It looks like they will receive them before noon tomorrow, but this whole process (which included me cashing in some favors with the staff of elected officials and making numerous phone calls) has put a damper on the trip.

Did I mention that I turn 35 next Saturday? Did I also mention that I thought I would be a mom by 35? If you guessed that this disappointment is also dampening my spirits, you would be right.

But Mr. Angry is starting to retreat (thanks for all of your support!) and the sun is expected to be out at least part of the time we are in Mexico. I will try not to focus on all of the Massachusetts families spending their children's school vacations in Mexico. As long as my family makes it, my 9 year-old niece will help me to fill much of that emptiness with her fascination with history (something that she and I share.) Maybe a plane ride full of screaming little ones will actually make me feel grateful for not having one of my own.

I can dream, right?!

I can honestly say, though, that I will miss all of you and wonder how you are doing. I am even planning to try to check on you if an internet connection presents itself. But if you don't hear from me until I get back, please know that I am wishing you the peace that we continue to seek!