It's like an adventure with food (but not in a good way!)

Disgust with nearly everything edible continues. I dream of not eating but then an empty stomach is worse. At least Ga.s-X has saved me from the most painful gas pains ever (so much so that I would star in a commercial, if I was asked), for which I will be eternally grateful. But food, as a general rule, simply grosses me out.

Finding things to keep my stomach occupied - in order to avoid greater food disgust when my stomach gets hungry - is like a funny game. And not funny in a "ha-ha" sense but in a "isn't life sneaky and clever" sense. Part of the irony resides in the fact that dinners composed mostly of protein help me to feel better over the long run. Yet meat largely disgusts me. At first, chicken was acceptable. But now I even struggle to consume chicken wings - an old comfort food. Steak tips last night? Reigning in my gag reflux was a challenge for sure. A pork chop tasted great late last week so my hope is that I can repeat that performance tonight. But I never know. My aversions change in intensity as well as in target nearly by the minute. I no longer bring lunch to work because I am grossed out by all options in the morning and I simply cannot anticipate what will present itself as barely edible. One thing for certain - I abhor veggies. I managed to eat a very small serving last night but I needed to wash down every bite with Gator.ade.

Lately, the two foods I crave? French fries (the frozen kind that you bake in the oven) and Swe.et Tart candy. WTF? Don't ask. Neither leave me feeling well or even better. In fact, I ate so much of the candy (the bags of bunnies and ducks for easter are out!) on Friday that I hurt my mouth. It's only barely recovered. But how did I feel after I ate most of the bag? Yucky in every way. But boy do I enjoy the taste when they are in my mouth.

French fries - as long as they are not greasy - are perfect. I salt them (a little more than usual) and then drench them in ketchup. I guess ketchup is another acceptable food, though only with fries. It's the salt and tangyness that makes that combo work so well.

However, as mentioned above, french fries don't do whatever it takes to keep me from waking up naeseous in the middle of the night. And the next morning. Only protein does that. And I find protein hard to eat.

A bagel around 9:30am still seems to be helping. But I have to get it from a certain place and it has to be cinnamon sugar. Which is weird because I would rarely go for that kind.

It's all strange. Luckily, I had somewhat of an appetite when we met my sister and her family for dinner on Saturday night. But when I tried to eat my leftovers on Sunday. BLACH. Even though I had brought home one of my very favorite desserts. YUCK.

I am not worried about nutrition or calories at this point. The prenatal vitamins (as well as my body's fat stores) will keep Little Life eating well. And I think I generally eat less than I do during pre-pregnancy. At this point, if I find a food that is both even slightly appealing to me AND doesn't give me major indigestion, I would yell it's name from the roof tops.

Another challenge was attempting not to freak out and go to the hospital on Saturday afternoon. I experienced some cramping in my lower right abdomen that I knew for sure was not intestinal. It was not especially painful, though sometimes it was a bit sharper than others and it was almost always vertical. It happened every few minutes for over 90 minutes. I kept checking for blood and there was nothing (thank goodness!!) I lied down with a heating pad, which either helped or was simply a coincidence - I couldn't tell and I didn't care. I was starting to panic so I revisited all those websites I have already read that indicate cramping without bleeding is nothing to worry about.

When I saw my sister at dinner, I told her about it. She assured me there was no need to panic. She said that she experienced the same thing and it makes sense since there is so much growth going on in there. She imitated Little Life stretching his limbs, saying with a smile, "he is probably doing this and making a nice home for himself." (My sister is another person entirely convinced that Little Life is a boy.)

So, for the most part, I went back to my very confident state about this pregnancy. I have actually surprised myself because, except for some intermittent moments of panic, I rarely have to remind myself that our chances of avoiding miscarriage at this point are 98% (though it is no coincidence that I mention it here.) I think I am finally accepting this. I no longer feel like I am holding my breath and the days now drag a little less. I am excited that next Thursday (the 6th) is both 10 weeks and my last Crin.one application. I am starting to believe that I am like the majority of pregnant women who bring home a healthy baby from a pregnancy.

But, like a good offspring, Little Life had to shake things up a little. Had the cramps not lasted for so long, I would have worried less. So, hopefully they don't happen again for such an extended period but, if they do, I will get through it. That's a good lesson for parenthood, no? No matter what, try not to panic. Since I am not exactly well-suited to that type of mindset, I might as well get some practice now!