A watched OPK never rings...

or displays two blue lines.

Per Dr. Gentle's advice, this cycle involves use of the Clea.rBlu.e Easy OPKs in order to pinpoint ovulation and save those fertility swimmers for my most fertile 24-48 hours only (as opposed to every 24-48 hours from CD 10-18, which is what we have been doing). I used another company's OPKs last fall and found them to be largely frustrating and hugely unhelpful so I stopped wasting the $20. I simply never received a clear yes. The tests gave me some hints but I decided that my body sent me other hints for free and I would rely on those instead. Dr. Google told me much later that taking the tests first thing in the morning was not advisable. But at which other point in the day is my liquid waste concentrated? Seriously. I drink more than the recommended dosage of water each day and, consequently, frequently visit the bathroom. My body feels best when sufficiently hydrated and only sleep forces me to hold my bladder. Dr. Gentle told me that the CB Easy kit was the best on the market and, even though testing in the afternoon is best, the kit allows me to test at any time.

On the morning of CD11, I opened the package and took the first test. And there was not even a hint of a second line.

Today is CD 13. And my cycles are typically short, as all of you avid readers know. So, where the f#$%& was the second line this morning? Not even a hue or a touch of blue, despite how I held it in the light.

The EWCM that usually appears around CD10 is barely evident. And, clearly, the LH surge is nowhere to be found. So, what the f$%& is going on with my body?

The last time that I was (almost) certain that ovulation happened late (CD17) was in November before the fertilization that turned into a premature miscarriage. I am trying to stay hopeful (all of you know what a useless enterprise that can be!) that delayed ovulation = increased chance of pregnancy, especially if the source of my luteal phase defect is underdeveloped follicles. But maybe this means that I don't always ovulate.

The only thing I DO know (thanks to those annoying OPK tests in the fall) is that I do not always ovulate at the same time in every cycle, which may be the result of cycles that vary by as much as three days. And I am CERTAIN that this annoys and frustrates me.

My nearly non-existent patience is running at an all-time low. Even though I am still slightly nervous about Clo.mid, I think all of you have put my mind at ease enough so that I just want to jump to my next cycle. The angst of needing to do something has claimed my mind once again.

(BTW, I missed all of you and plan to catch up on your blogs over the next two days. If I don't comment, it does not mean that I haven't read your posts, only that I was pressed for time. As always, I hope to find lots of good news!)