10 + 14 equals 28????

I am a highly-educated, relatively intelligent woman. I can add, subtract, and divide, though math has always been my weakest subject. Those of the physical-science persuasion would agree that a "political scientist" is not really a scientist in a pure scientific sense. I am a social scientist, or should I say rather, a person educated in the understanding and interpretation of human behavior, particularly in regards to the use and abuse of power. But having said that - and pointed out that I am a researcher by instinct, so I read everything and anything on topics that I feel the need to understand in order to move forward in my life - I need to ask why (how?) am I a friggin idiot???

Like many (all?) of you in the IF blog world, I have read, read, and read some more about the illustrious and allegedly simple CYCLE. I have read about the typical cycle's cycles: the stages, the signs, the symptoms. The bleeding part is somewhat simple - AF has been pretty straightforward, and somewhat regular, in her demeanor since her first visit when I was the tender age of 11. But this O shit is frustrating. I know the rules: 14 days into a 28-day cycle will (should) produce an egg ready to be fertilized. My PCP confidently told me, after I asked why the OPKs were indicating that I was ovulating on various dates despite the fact that my cycle was relatively regular, that there is no doubt that ovulation happens 14 days PRIOR to the onset of your period, no matter what the length of the cycle. This left me fully and utterly confused. So I decided simply that my Dr. PCP was right and the tests were wrong.

But I am still confused. A couple of months ago, I had an appointment with the dildocam to find out if there were cysts or other malformations causing the cramps that I experience 3 out of the 4 weeks of every cycle. The doctor pointed to some odd blurry tiny spot on the monitor and asked me what CD it was. I told him 11, which caused him some surprise. He was confident that I had already ovulated that month. Yes, as of DAY 11! Afterwards, I checked the calendar again to make sure that I had counted correctly. Yes, each and every count - a total of 3 - told me that that day was, in fact, Day 11. I realized that I had noticed some EWCM over the past couple of days but thought it was a fluke - perhaps the result of babydancing a night or so before that. I gave my husband a call instructing him as sweetly and seductively as possible to deny his coworkers his undivided attention in order to save some energy for that night. My cycle ended as predicted - a BFN - and it did not come early. I thought maybe that month was an anomaly.

But I am starting to realize that ovulation varies every month! My avid blog readers (that makes 1 or 2? heeheee) know that last Friday was a day of disappointment and, ultimately, CD 1. So, we can all agree that today is CD 8. So, why oh why, did a visit to the bathroom just bring about a decent amount of EWCM??? I see this every month, usually only when there is some ahem effort involved in the expulsion process, and not usually as early as CD 8. But sometimes that early. What is so strange is that it often continues for a full four or five days. Last month it lasted approximately that long, stopped, and then continued for one more day a few days later. Seriously, what the F$&K do I make of this? I have decided to try to romance my husband every day/every-other day over the mid two weeks of my cycle....but who am I kidding? Neither of us will have the energy for that. I am anything but a porn star!

To make matters worse, my cycle length is becoming increasingly varied. This month it was 29 days, other months 26. It was even 25 days one month. And I can't draw a direct correlation between the presence of EWCM and cycle length. Not to mention, what day can I consider THE DAY when the EWCM hangs around for so long? Ridiculous! At least believing that my eggs are fickle and unpredictable helps me to understand (and least in my mind) why our TTC has been unsuccessful - and it gives me something to tell the RE when we move on to that stage (stay tuned, it should be in the next month or so, as soon as I can get an appointment.)

I am left with three perplexing thoughts:
1. How do I best time BD when I could ovulate any time over a 5 or 7 day timeframe (taking into account our energy limitations)?

2. Can I really be confident that the (elongated) presence of EWCM indicates that I am successfully ovulating every month? Maybe it indicates that my body is struggling to get this process right....not good news!

3. How did I get to the point in my life where I am talking about EWCM on the wide - and wild - world of the Internet? And, even better, how can I expect people to read this and care!!

Well, I have to focus now on trying to drum up some intense and intoxicating sexual energy, with which to entice my husband and try to get those little sperm posed to meet the egg that may or may not be releasing in the next 5 to 7 days....