A Poem for LL

I wrote this on the plane to Colorado a couple of weeks ago. I plan to print this out on nice paper and frame it with my 20-week belly pic in the bottom corner and put it in LL's room.....

Halfway to You

It began with emptiness
pain, frustration
an utter sadness.

Then the fear set in
which consumed me,
but there was hope
sometimes fleeting
other times, invisible.

I knew you had to be
there but I couldn't see you,
feel you.
I ached
I grieved.

Then came the process,
the waiting
again, but different.
The elements - perfect yet shaken from extraction -
came together.

At one point, nature took control again.
My breath held,
I turned blue with
anticipation and distrust -
an utter longing.

With good news came absolute terror
and queasiness,
- A more concrete image constructs the most dangerous precipice -
I vowed to trust you,
to allow you to make the choice.

Did fate push you to it?
Analysis dismissed,
I honored you
- and the universe -
with only the deepest of gratitude.

I thank you still
as you flutter about
with taps of remembrance and promise.
Each and every cell imbued with fascination,
my heart listens closely.

I am present.
I love you.
I will never leave you.