"No Procedures" does not mean no Specialists *UPDATED*

This cycle involves no procedures, fertility drugs, etc.

And boy am I enjoying it!

However, we visit the urologist today - Dr. Gentle insists that he is the "best" in the Boston area, which certainly is *quite* a recommendation - to find out if surgery will fix Mr. LIW's morphology problem.

Yesterday was our two year wedding anniversary. I can't believe that two years have passed since that day when I knew, perhaps for the first time in my life, what it felt like to make the right decision. I had no doubts that day - not one - and nearly every guest told me that I beamed throughout the ceremony and the entire evening.

I love Mr. LIW. He is a fantastic husband and life partner. I am lucky.

So, last night after a low-key dinner at a great little neighborhood restaurant (the open-faced ravioli with scallops and shrimp in a roasted tomato-marscapone sauce was unbelievable!) and, of course, anniversary s*x, we decided that we would ask the doctor if our homeopathic treatment would do the trick.

Mr. LIW is prepared to ask the following:

"In order to solve the temperature problem caused by the varicocele, what if we were to alternate between placing ice packs and my wife's incredibly cold hands on my testicles throughout the day?"

We laughed heartily at that one.

In fact, we laugh alot these days. Mostly at night - in front of the television and in bed (which is also in front of a television.)

I think I can speak for both of us when I say that Mr. LIW and I are ok, perhaps even better than ok. I looked through the adoption packet that an area organization sent at my request and, though it scared me sh*tless because there are so many restrictions for international adoptions that our choices would be limited, I know that we could get through it.

And I am starting to feel confident that ivf will work. Serenity, always my voice of reason, tells me that 80% of couples get pregnant within two cycles of ivf (I may have misquoted her but it's something like that.) I need to check out the stats for my fertility center but I am not in a rush to do that. I know that we are likely to have to wait to start our first ivf until December or perhaps even January.

I am actually feeling a bit relieved, to be honest. I think I like this break that we are taking.

I had a fantastic workout on Monday and found a gym that I really like that is still relatively affordable. Since it is a branch of the YM.CA, I also feel good about the fact that paying full price will help low-income families use the facilities and send their children to day camps. I won't be able to work out at lunch time, but I can possibly go before work and have time to shower at home on weekdays. Boy, it feels awesome to use my muscles again and feel physically spent after a satisfying workout! I am not even as out of shape as I thought I was. Sure, I have lost strength but the exercises that I have been doing at home over the past two weeks are paying off mighty quickly. My arms are already feeling more muscular again.

I *am* obsessing a bit about calories but - mostly successfully - talking myself through it. And, even though I haven't lost any weight, I am feeling lighter - an effect I *knew* the gym would have on me. And, once the muscle definition starts to come back, I will feel even better.

But, don't worry, I continue to monitor myself very closely.

So, I will update you on what the urologist says. I simply haven't been able to get an early appointment on a convenient day to get an u/s to check on my endometrial polyp. But what's the rush? I can do it next cycle.

And I will also keep you posted on the job situation. It looks like next week may be my last here since the major project that justifies my presence is being scaled back considerably by the client. I was panicked about this for an evening, but I am over it now. I have an interview at another temp agency tomorrow.

Mr. Flowers and his superiors are reportedly still 100% committed to hiring me for the federal job. Of course, it is not entirely in their control but at least I remain their top candidate. In fact, I was assured that they re-posted the job for me, in the hope that it would work out this time. But I am not holding my breath.

And one of our clients - who has now become a fantastic friend - is interested in hiring me.

No matter what happens, I will be ok. I know that now.

Thanks for all of your support!! And for accepting me for who I am. It truly means the world to me!!!
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The only thing we learned this afternoon was that the best urologist in the area is a total asshole who likes to make jokes about the penis sizes of his patients.

I am not kidding.

His office was in the most depressed medical center in one of the most depressed areas of the City. Everyone there - employees and patients - were appropriately miserable. But that would have all been fine had the urologist - let's call him Dr. Dick - was a decent person.

Dr. Gentle warned us that Dr. Dick was a bit rough around the edges but I expected him to be cold in a professional way.

To make matters even worse, Dr. Gentle's office failed to send over all of our paperwork so Dr. Dick couldn't even make any conclusions about whether or not surgery would help.

We have to go back next week - next Thursday afternoon.

I told Mr. LIW that I would be more than happy to see someone else, despite the fact that Dr. Dick is supposed to be the best around.

I did learn that Mr. LIW values a doctor's bedside manner more than either of us thought. I *knew* that I hated Dr. Dick the minute I met him. What I didn't know until afterwards was that Mr. LIW did, too. I thought it was the joke about the curse of an Irish heritage on unit size but it was everything.

Right after the joke, Dr. Dick tried to make it sound like he empathized because he was lacking in the endowment realm for the same reasons - that he is of Irish/English background.

But. HELLO. It's not like Mr. LIW is abnormal in any way. It's not abnormally lacking in size or girth. Sure, nature makes bigger but it also makes smaller as well. And hey, by the way, everything works fine in that area. He's not impotent.

I told Mr. LIW that Dr. Dick's comment is analogous to being told that I have small breasts during a breast exam. Which didn't happen, of course, but it is a valid analogy.

The point is WHAT DID HIS SIZE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? We were not there because Mr. LIW's unit doesn't function correctly. In fact, it works better than some other models I have interacted with. There's never - and I mean never - a problem getting that guy to do his job. He's ready and willing even when Mr. LIW is not.

We want input on what to do with a vein in Mr. LIW's testicles, for cripes sake. Instead, we got a rude comment and a very unpleasant attitude.

I really wish that I had said something rude to Dr. Dick. Who knows, I may get a chance to do that next week. But I am all for seeing someone else instead, though I will leave it up to Mr. LIW. We did agree, though, that we will switch urologists if Dr. Dick recommends surgery.

Dr. Dick works in a Center for Se*ual Health. Can you imagine letting someone like that work with people who are dealing with such sensitive issues? Maybe I should grab him by the balls *really* hard and squeeze and then laugh it off like a joke.

What an asshole.