I am going a little crazy here....

So, on top of taking such short - and few naps - every day, Baby C has decided to give up the one and only 4 or 5-hour stretch of sleep every night. He hasn't slept longer than 3 hours in one stretch since last Tuesday or Wednesday night. I am exhausted and have spent much of this morning in tears. He seems to be exhibiting the characteristics of a growth spurt - interrupted sleep, eating more often, frustrated at feedings, irritable, etc. He better plump up after all of this. Let's hope my sanity survives!!!

A friend of mine bought me "Sle.eping Through the Night" as a gift when she learned I was pregnant. I know that she adheres to the very strict schedule approach so I hadn't really picked it up because that's not how I want to parent. I hope to help Baby C develop good habits and hope to live according to regular patterns, but I simply refuse to believe that any human being can or should be regulated on strict eating and sleeping schedules.

But, in desperation, I started reading the book last night. I do plan to try many of the suggestions. I realized that Baby C needs a positive association in order to help him soothe himself to sleep. So I will hold a great little blankey when I feed him from now on. And right now he is in crib in the hopes that he will take a nap. I go in periodically to soothe him but he's clearly tired and I want him to learn how to go to sleep on his own. IT's not as if he never falls asleep without eating or rocking or soothing - he does. But it needs to be the norm instead of the exception.

Please don't judge me, but I really want to let him cry it out. Every time I go in his room, I want to SCREAM and yell. I did yell at the dog at one point and I emailed my husband begging him to come home early so that I can take a long nap. I just really want to speed up the process of him learning how to self-soothe. I desperately need to start getting 5-6 hours of sleep in a row again. A couple of job leads look promising and I simply don't see how I could work given the type of sleep I am getting. I went for a second interview yesterday that involved a 2-hour strategy exercise and I was utterly exhausted when I got home. And then slept in 1-hour increments through the night.

MY thought is that Baby C is overtired, too, since he hasn't made up for the sleep he is losing at night. So I am dedicated to getting him to take a nap this afternoon. He took a typically short one this morning but it is clearly not enough. The book said that it can take as long as an hour the first time that you try to get them to self-soothe by checking on them every 5 minutes or so. I am willing to try that.

I don't even know if this post makes sense...mostly I needed to vent. But can anyone promise me that this will not last forever? That I will once again be able to sleep for longer than 2-hour intervals and that he will eventually sleep through an entire night??????