So what does it all mean?

Ok, my blogger lovelies....

Here's the data:

*CD30
*No AF in sight - only a near-spotting experience (a bit darker than usual but not dark enough to be definite spotting)
*Cramps on and off - somewhat typical of AF in nature, though a bit sharper in intensity
*Intermittent breast aches/pains
*Intestines shut down (as in, "what do you mean I have to push things along?) despite numerous doeses of fibercom and softener, eating *very* small portions, exercising three days in a row over the weekend, and avoiding vitamins which tend to cause clogging
*Horrible irritability ("are you talking to me? Well, f*ck off and leave me alone")
*Complete loss of appetite ("that looks gross, I can't consider eating that, not that either, nor that, or that)
*Periodic light waves of nauseau ("Yikes, I think I could puke now. Ok, it's passed - did I imagine it?")

Ick. Can you smell it? That's hope creeping in. I hate her more than I hate AF.

Like always, I can explain these symptoms away. You-know-what is nearly impossible given the fact that we only tried once when I was relatively sure that that egg was ready to drop. What was strange is that the EWCM continued for about 7 or 8 days, if not longer. Maybe I ovulated more than once, thereby extending my cycle. I didn't take clo.mid or anything else but it was still in my system in the first two weeks of this cycle.

I just really *don't* want to be hopeful. And I am not - well, not as much as I was in past cycles. I know that our odds aren't good and that the odds that non-P causes are behind these symptoms are much more likely.

I had to cancel the test to check for the polyp as it can't be done any earlier than CD5. So, I have to call and try to schedule a time with Dr. Gentle on CD1. I think he is about to go away so I hope I can do it sooner rather than later. I like our plan to start ivf in late December/early January.

If AF doesn't come by Monday morning (CD 34) I will do something about it - like call for a blood test. But I am quite certain that she will arrive before then. Probably by the time that hope has me in her tight little grasp (which will be Saturday night at the latest).....

It's a conspiracy, I tell you.